just your bestfriend...

true: history repeats itself

sometimes, love can be very unreasonable...

you give love, you receive friendship.. but when you give something a liittle overboard, you still receive friendship and sometimes, worst, "bestfriend" material starts to crop up...

cool but true but it hurts a lot!

usually, I just try to describe my self as "your ordinary girl next door that would brighten your day; one-of-the-boys sometimes but cool to be with; your friend that you can always depend on..." - - - things in life with these description became smooth-sailing

but

when I tried to be "your only girl that can bring you unending memorable moments; your buddy that will always make your morning bright; the person you won't regret meeting in your midst..." - - - things became rocky, I was always considered as a bestfriend... no more than that...

but of course, I should be able to understand such circumstance in my life...

maybe,

its not yet time...

its not yet him...

it may be another person...

its not the proper place...

its not perfect...

it may be him, the other guy... the first, true guy...

well, I'll just wait and see...

as always...

Sailing back...

Life has been shaky these days...

The turbulent sea has been in its own pace again...

The mast of my sail has been vibrating danger from the time I turned North...

And here I am sitting inside my cabin wondering what to do if the blue will fill up my room.

As I look out of my window, I saw a dolphin flip up.

Strange.

Oh well, Life has really been strange for me with these past few days... I get to think sometimes that Fate is playing a game on me again.

Little do they know that my heart has been in pain. That is why I have been out in the sea to seek serenity...

But...

Cruelty has its own way of saying hello.

Torn between two destinations. One have kept me awake, an area that is so hard to see within the mist of the splash of water. The other is as clear as crystal but there are coral reefs surrounding it.. though it has been inviting, a sailor would not know when to swerve its ship to its shore... an enigmatic feeling is hoisted upon the sails telling one that it is not yet time.... or... nothing. Leaving one totally clueless with its beauty.

Now, my dear comrades..

Can somebody clear the sea for me?

Though no one is more powerful than the turbulent wind nor the hard rain...

But I believe schools of fish under it would surely bring clarity to its blue depth someday.

My heart is bleeding once again. Though it is seeking for support, one is clueless on to whom one's beat would go...

Now as I sail back to North, I hope the cold will bite the never-ending pain in my heart...

and therefore,


end it.





**** Sailing back once more ****