missing him... badly.

have you ever felt too much longing for someone who you think it is very impossible to reach?


have you ever loved someone who is not even aware that you have feelings for him?


have you felt helpless with your emotions that all you can do is cry?


have you ever wished that somehow, things would not have been the way they were now?


have you ever had the feeling of regret that you should not have fallen for him?













have you ever met a person like me, who you think was strong enough to face any trial but after reading all her post in her blog would look like someone who is very weak?





i thought, all this time... i was strong enough to pretend that i can manage my feelings...

that i can move on...

that i can forget him totally...





I WAS WRONG. AGAIN.


things are different right now. i can act as if nothing happened. but if you search deeper into my heart, you would be surprised to see that i am bringing a heavy surge of emotions, a couple of dilemma in life.




but still.... i manage to balance my academics with my emotional storm...



why so many questions in mind?



simple. I JUST MISS HIM.


SO MUCH.


he may not even care. he may just ignore me.


but deep inside, all these things are true.



sometimes, i just wish that he would be reading this. sometimes, i wish he would not have the chance.


sorry for being straight-forward, i'm just being REAL.